For those who ask this question the answer is simple; Yes and no, it all depends on how one looks at it since relationships that start online are just like those that start through mutual friends, a chance encounter, a parent set up, meeting at work or even on the bus home. Some succeed, some don’t. Tinuke happens to be one of those that it worked out for. In this age of the Internet, everything seems fast paced. Even human interactions seem to have become a shadow of its former self. With the blackberry you find people pinging away oblivious of the world around them and probably that is why they also resort to dating online. LEADERSHIP WEEKEND sought the opinion of people on this issue and their response is a mixture of feelings that would interest you. We begin with Tinuke who has already been mentioned as a success story.
She is a 27 year old who met her husband Dele on the internet and according to her, she never knew love would find her that way.” it started as a joke, first he asked me to be his friend and as time went by, we exchanged numbers. After about a year of communication without seeing him he finally invited me to come over to Lagos to pay him a visit since I had relatives there, I obliged on the pretence of going to Lagos to visit my aunt who lives there with her family and during my short stay, I got to know he was serious about me and was on the brink of separating from his girlfriend. Six months after that I found myself visiting Lagos more frequently and on one of those visits, he proposed and we got married and relocated to Abuja, as you can see, I have two children to show for it. I would definitely say the internet has helped me find my husband”.
Mrs. Josephine Chidi, a civil servant is of the opinion that internet dating is the reason most marriages don’t work because people are deviating from the old way where you know whom it is you are dating. “How can you marry someone you barely know? In my opinion people should stop it. If you both meet after the online thing and work at it physically then there are chances that the marriage will work”.
Susan who is an undergraduate from Bayero University Kano boasts of knowing three couples who all met on line, got married and two of the three couples are working on the third year of their marriage while the other is still fairly new and all appears to be happy and good for them. For her then, “it is not where you meet that will determine how long your relationship last but what the two of you put into making it work”.
Mr. Joe, a sales man says it really works for some people. “I have heard of some success stories and I have also heard of some terrible ones but most often than not, it is the women that are victims. What is good for Mr. A might be bad for Mr. B so rather than judge, I want to suggest that? those who? indulge in it be very careful and not trust the internet too much since there is no sure way of detecting? internet lies”.
In the case of Mr Zachary Edeh? whose? colleague met? his wife that way, the only problem he says they have now is that every once in a while she complains about not knowing him much but the truth is that one can also meet that? kind of problem when you go through the traditional way of dating.
Apart from these success stories there are people who have had nasty experiences in the same business, Miss Viola (not real name) met Mike online and since he lived in Canada, they would chat for hours on weekends. He professed so much love for her, he promised to come to Nigeria to pay her a visit which he fulfilled and eight months after they met in person, he proposed to her and promised to get her papers ready so she could join him over there but meanwhile he has to go back and get ready to welcome her.
About a month after his trip to Nigeria and back, Viola found out she was pregnant and without delay told him the news, his reaction she said was not pleasant. According to her, “I should have known it was going to turn for the worse when he suddenly went cold as I broke the news to him but he quickly covered up his act and told me it was all for the better. He said soon we will all be together where we will be married finally and our unborn child will be a citizen, my joy knew no bounds.
Three months into my pregnancy I noticed the phone calls from him became irregular, he started giving excuses like too much work at the office or he forgot and as time went on, he eventually stopped calling and changed his number. The only relative I knew of his was his half sister and they weren’t in good terms. I must say it wasn’t easy for me. I didn’t involve my people much in what was going on in my life right from the beginning and as such didn’t see the need to now that it wasn’t working out as I had expected. I am the first of three girls, our dad is late and my mum pretty much looks up to me for everything. I eventually had Isaac my son and have since moved on but I have vowed never to fall victim and to tell girls out there to never fall for any man who professes to love you on the internet. My son knows some of his father’s relatives though they do not acknowledge him as their own”. ?
Internet dating is very much rampant these days, at least one of every four people spoken to said they know someone who is in a relationship with or married to someone they met online. Although online dating is becoming more common, there are still concerns about the danger of posting personal information online and about the honesty of those who one is likely to meet and fall in love with.
There are instances where you hear of people posting up doctored pictures of themselves online or omitting vital information about themselves online. It would be sheer devastation for anyone to meet someone you’ve been talking within and hope to marry in a wheel chair especially if they never mentioned that part to you. So, to be on the safe side, do not go blindly into finding love without some verification that the path you are choosing is the right one for you.? Having someone to love for a lifetime is a great place to be but finding your way there requires much thought and reflection too. Whether online dating leads to marriages that last, that stands the test of time or that don’t, whatever way you find your love, wherever you find the one you choose to marry, you must do so deliberately, with much thought and with an eye towards what will make you happy.
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