As the law on the ban of same sex marriage is yet to take effect, lesbianism is rising in urban areas in Nigeria. A trend that was once done in secret, ladies are coming out boldly to declare their love for one another without shame, Ruth Choji writes.
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Lydia (not real name), a salon owner in Wuse 11, is a lesbian who does not hide her preference for women. She said, “There is nothing bad in being a lesbian. I became a lesbian when I was taken to a girls’ boarding school. My school mother who was very pretty fell in love with me and started showering me with gifts. She would defend and protect me when senior students wanted to punish me. We would sleep together on the same bed and she would hug me. That was how we started. She would fondle me, kiss me and play with me. When she graduated, my second school mother was wilder than the first as she had all the necessary tools for lovemaking. Since then I have been ‘hooked.’ I date rich men for money, but my true love is for babes. I have dated few; we also know each other and have formed a small group in Abuja. We help one another.
‘’You will be surprised to see the type of women that are our members. Some are prominent women married to rich men, with kids, yet they live secret lives. I refuse to pretend to be what I am not. Even my male friends know that I love girls; I don’t pretend about it. Girls are becoming lesbians because of the way men use and dump them. So they prefer to be with ladies like themselves than with men who will use and dump them.”
Khadijat(not real name), another lesbian also said, ” I don’t know why Nigerians like pretending when some of the people passing those bills are also into homosexuality. I know lots of women who are practicing lesbianism. They are happily married, yet they sleep with women like themselves. They pretend because of our society, yet do worse things in secret. My family doesn’t know that I am a lesbian because they see me as descent Muslim girl. It is only my close friends who attended the same school withthat know. We still meet to do our thing and go home, pretending to be good girls. I wish I could live my life openly.”?????????????????????????????????????????
Philip Adegoke, a psychologist who spoke with LEADERSHIP WEEKEND on the scientific reason why ladies become lesbians said, ‘’The term lesbian was coined from Lesbos. It started with some young ladies who left Sappho’s to form their own lives and set their own rules. Some people regard it as a kind of insanity or neurological disease. But psychologically, women who indulge in lesbianism are those who have masculine desires; they tend to reject the subversive role nature has given them. But there are some women who, having?? realised that they are getting attracted to females, deny or hide it. That is why most of them experience depression. They are suicidal and are likely to use hard drugs.
The fear of condemnation affects their well-being. Some women tend to work through developing a self-concept internally, or with other women with whom they are intimate. Lesbians also limit who they divulge their sexual identities to, and more often see lesbianism as a choice. ‘’They get depressed because they are under pressure to hide their sexual preference from friends and family, or experience religious discrimination. Some endure relationship difficulties.
‘’Research has shown that lesbians have different standards for what they consider attractive in women. They view themselves by male standards of how beautiful? a woman is? and end up experiencing lower self-esteem and eating problems,. Lesbians also tend to be drunkards and less likely to abstain from alcohol. Most lesbians maintain long-term relationships.
Women who are lesbians tend to share everything, unlike the man-woman relationship where a level of secrecy is maintained. So it is more of a psychological thing. Nobody was born a lesbian or homosexual; it is a habit people pick along the way.”
Also speaking, Abdullahi Aliyu, a Muslim scholar said, “Islam does not allow homosexuality and lesbianism. This sin carries a capital punishment. As recommended by Imams Malik and Shafi, people caught in the act of lesbianism and homosexuality should be whipped and stoned. Lesbianism involves immorality that goes against the wisdom of Allah’s creation and commandment because homosexuality and lesbianism involve innumerable evil and harm, and the person the act would be better off being killed, if not he will become so evil and so corrupt that there can be no hope of being reformed. All good will? be? lost for him, and he will no longer feel any shame before Allah or before His creation. The semen of the one who did that to him will act as? poison in his body and soul. The scholars, however, differed as to whether the one to whom it is done will ever enter Paradise.”
Pastor Habila Ibrahim of God’s Power Ministry added, “Lesbianism is detestable to God and man. We are created in God’s image. Lesbianism is a gross disobedience to God’s natural laws. Romans 1:24 says, ’Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, through the lust of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between them…’? You can see that homosexuals, lesbians and others who practise lewd acts have condemned themselves already. Lesbianism is a sin that even God himself looks away when it is being committed. I believe that people who engage in such acts will go to hell.”