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The “Sugar Mummy” syndrome in Nigeria does exist, but is hardly acknowledged. Blessing Ukemena writes about the myths in such relationships, with additional reports from YourTango.com.
They are called "Sugar Mummies" in Nigeria, while they are called "Cougars" in countries like the United States and Britain. The Urban Dictionary states that “Cougars are gaining in popularity, particularly the true hotties, as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her acts together”.
Some think of a Cougar as a confident, independent, young-spirited woman, who happens to prefer the company of younger men. Being a "Sugar Mummy" is just as bad as being a "Sugar Daddy", even though the Sugar Daddies are more popular, because many young ladies see them as their tickets to a better life. But there is no denying that even in the strict African cultures, young men still date older women for money. Here are some myths about such relationships:
Myth 1: A relationship between an older woman and a younger man isn't viable. He'll cheat on her with someone his age. Look at Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon.
Fact: No one can deny that Nick and Mariah have been together much longer than expected, and although they may have their private issues, to the public, they are the perfect couple. Their twin children are evidence that the young man is enjoying his time with her!
Myth 2: A "Sugar Mummy" is the hunter, who preys on the innocent younger man.
Fact: Who hunts whom? Some guys are naturally drawn to older women like any other physical “type”, such as preferring blondes to brunettes. It is discovered that somewhere along the way, those attracted to "Sugar Mummies" have had a prior positive experience with one.
A "Sugar Mummy" exudes self-confidence, which makes her a highly desirable conquest to a younger man. Often, it’s the younger man who approaches the older woman in hopes of a purely sexual no-strings-attached relationship. Contrary to popular belief that it is the woman who goes for the younger man.
Myth 3: A younger man won't be able to maintain the interest of an older woman. They have nothing in common; for example, they like different music. He's probably not able to carry on a conversation with her.
Fact: In the beginning, there may be a lot of differences, but with time, they get to appreciate each other so as to make the relationship bearable or enjoyable. He may developed a taste for fine wine, since it's one of her passions, while she can start to listen to more rock music and be in tune with the latest releases. Being open-minded about different tastes and interests is good for any relationship. Age has nothing to do with IQ score. "Sugar Mummies" have been known to stay up late at night chatting with their younger men about the meaning of life.
Myth 4: The younger man will ultimately want children, and will dump the older woman who already has or is too old.
Fact: This is an issue for any couple when one wants a child and the other doesn't. Having children isn't a priority for every man, and if he loves the woman, he may choose her over his need to procreate. He may be in a relationship with an older woman because women his age are listening to the ticking of their biological clocks. In fact, many younger men gravitate to older women who won't pressure them to get married and have children, (so true for many Nigerian men!).
Myth 5: A "Sugar Mummy" won't fit into younger man's social circle or vice versa.
Fact: The couple may experience some negativity, especially in the initial stages of the relationship. Some may personally be subjected to a few snide comments such as: "Is that your son?" or "Dude, does she get a senior citizen rate at the movies?" Like any typical relationship, there will be people who support the couple's choices and those who put it down. The couple should be prepared to deal with everything from admiration to hostility from friends, acquaintances, and family.
Myth 6: A "Sugar Mummy" is going to get old and become unattractive to the younger man, sooner than later.
Fact: The real sugar mummies or Cougars keep physically fit and tend to look much younger than their age. They have a young man in their life who probably has 80 packs on his chest; so why not? Any woman will age over time; probably not as gracefully as a Cougar. She has the financial ability, motivation, and time to eat healthy and exercise. If a man is in a relationship with an older woman, he's usually there because of her personality as much as her looks.
At the end of the day, I will never encourage anyone to date a person that is years older than you. Insecurity is one of the things that actually ignites these relationships. The man may be too lazy to stand by himself financially, or his sexual urges are getting a better part of him. And for the lady; well, I wouldn’t know her reason. Life is a choice. So, make yours wisely.
Christmas is a season to share and show love to people within your environment. You must make home lively with Christmas décor to key into the spirit of the season. Beautifully designed Christmas décor is so attractive that even the translucent light attached to the Christmas tree sends a clear message of Christ birth.
Some people are usually confused on the exact colour to use while decorating the home in preparation for Christmas. The widely acceptable colour is red, green and a touch of gold.
It’s not just the livingroom that should be beautified with Christmas décor, but the bedroom and even the outdoors require such decoration so as to make the entire environment inviting and shinning.
The Christmas tree is expensive, but for people on a low budget, natural items like plasticberries, evergreen, pinecones can be crafty beautified to form an attractive Christmas décor.
Decorating For Christmas
Tone a white door with deep green wreath tied with a red ribbon on top and sparkling light.
Fill empty transparent plastic jars with berries. Use spray paint to add a shining touch beneath and display close to the Christmas tree.
Decorate pendant lights
Adorn your décor with gifts that are carefully wrapped with ribbon. Place the gifts close to the Christmas tree.
Cover the rail in the staircase with green wreath and modify with golden ribbon and sparkling lights.
Wrap boxes with chocolates and place tags on the gift box with ribbon. It adds some touch to the Christmas décor.
The streets lights and green areas should also be decorated with wreath, sparkling lights and berries.
This is a season when the skin is extra dry and extra itchy, because of the cracks from the dry weather. But there are some ways to keep that skin moisturised. Blessing Ukemena writes with reports from WebMD
When you have flaky, itchy, dry skin, which comes with the harsh harmattan weather, you want fast relief. Easing your dry skin isn't just about what you put on it. It also depends on how you clean your skin, the air around you, and even your clothes. Try these six tips to soothe your dry skin.
1. Warm yes, hot no
A steamy shower feels good, but that hot water is not a good idea for your dry skin, says dermatologist Andrea Lynn Cambio, MD. The problem is that hot showers strip your body of its natural oil barrier, and you need that barrier to help trap moisture and keep your skin smooth and moist.
So dial down the temperature and don't linger too long. Skin care experts recommend short, warm showers or baths that last no longer than five to 10 minutes. Afterward, gently pat dry and moisturise your body. If you can, then you can bath with lukewarm water.
2. Cleanse gently
Wash with a soapless cleanser when you shower. Cambio says gentle soaps that are free of fragrance are a great option. Products with deodorant or anti-bacterial additives can be harsh on skin. You might also consider a cleanser that contains ceramides, says dermatologist Carolyn Jacob, MD.
Ceramides are fatty molecules that make up the outer barrier of your skin. They help skin hold in moisture. Some skin care products use synthetic ceramides to replace those we lose with age. Go easy on toners, peels, and other astringents made with alcohol, which is drying. When you exfoliate, don't scrub too much or too hard, Jacob says. It can irritate and thicken skin.
3. Shave smartly, shaving can irritate dry skin
As you shave unwanted hair, you're also scraping off natural oils. The best time to shave is after you shower, according to the American Academy of Dermatology. Hairs are softer and more pliable after bathing, making shaving easier. Always use a shaving cream or gel, and shave in the direction the hair is growing to protect your skin. Make sure the razor is sharp. A dull razor blade can cause additional irritation. Change your razor blades often. If you are using a blade you've used before, soak it in rubbing alcohol to clean it.
4. Cover up
Sun damage is one of the main causes behind dry skin, wrinkles, and roughness. You can help prevent that damage by wearing a broad-spectrum SPF 30 sunscreen year-round and dressing right. In cool weather, Cambio says, be sure to "dress in layers to prevent overheating and perspiring excessively; both can irritate the skin."
To prevent dry, chapped lips in winter, use a lip balm with SPF 15 sunscreen, and cover your lips with a scarf or a hat with a mask. In summer, wear light, loose, long-sleeved shirts when out in the sun, and wear a two-inch wide-brimmed hat to shade your neck, ears, and eyes.
5. Follow the rules of moisturising
The simplest moisturising products can soothe dry skin. "Petroleum jelly makes a great moisturiser," dermatologist Sonia Badreshia-Bansal, MD, says. Or you can use mineral oil, a favorite cream, or lotion. If you like a very rich moisturiser, look for one with shea butter, ceramides, stearic acid, or glycerin, Leslie Baumann, MD, director of the Cosmetic Medicine and Research Institute at the University of Miami, says.
"All are rich moisturisers that will help you replenish your skin barrier," Baumann writes in her online article Winter Skin, where she also says she particularly loves glycerin. Jacobs says that whichever product you choose, a consistent, smart moisturising routine helps. Wash with a non-soap liquid cleanser, preferably one with ceramides to replenish the skin's outer layer.
Pat skin dry for less than 20 seconds. Apply a thick moisturiser to slightly damp skin within minutes of bathing to trap in moisture.
Moisturise your hands every time you wash them so that evaporating water doesn't draw even more moisture from your dry skin.
Finally, look for a cream with sunscreen of SPF 30 or higher to get the added benefit of sun protection. You can find moisturising sunscreens as ointments, creams, gels, even sprays. The AAD suggests creams as your best bet for helping to combat dry skin.
6. Humidify in winter
Cold and dry air is a common cause of dry, irritated skin. Heating your house keeps you warm, but it also removes moisture from the air, which can make dry skin even more parched. To replenish that missing moisture quickly and easily, use a humidifier in your bedroom, Cambio says. You can track humidity easily with an inexpensive humidity meter, called a hygrometer. Aim for indoor humidity of about 50 per cent.